Humor : Zeroes of Gujarat 2006 (text)

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In Gujarat, opposition party was never so weak like it is in nowadays. At one hand Modi is becoming more and more powerful and popular and at the other end leader of opposition party is a first time MLA from Porbandar town, Mr. Arju Modhvadiya. Modhvadiya has his own unique way of running an opposition party. Everyday he releases press notes to newspapers and gives statements against state government’s decisions and programs. Once a week (even this day is fixed, it is Thursday every week) he addresses a press conference about the same. So, Modhvadiya way of running an opposition party is clear; A press note a day and a press conference a week. Nothing on roads, nothing in the streets, nothing in public, nothing on the ground but everything on paper…. Modhvadiya may enter in Guinness book of world Records book soon with his achievement of releasing highest press statements. If we put his all press notes’ papers one over other, eventually the height of the bunch may cross the peak of Eiffel tower. Logics and language in Arjun Modhvadiya’s daily press release statements are so comic that intellectual readers of Gujarat consider his printed statement in morning newspaper as comic column on current affairs .Modhvadiya is giving tough fight to all the comedy movies, mimicry artists across Gujarat, at every corner where Gujarati newspapers reach((before some years Chhabildas Mehta was in a same role). In Gujarat, opposition party has become a statement party( soon Modhvadiya may demand a legislation to change the term ‘opposition party’ by replacing it with the new term ‘statements party’). Except Dandi yatra-2005, Congress in Gujarat has done nothing to mobilize common people in its favor. Congress has become old loyalists’ party in Gujarat. New educated young men are rarely involved in Congress, because of paper tiger leaders working like statement machines. Modhvadiya’s doctrine for running an opposition party: (1). Way to the hearts of the people is through daily press statement (2). Stay in live contact with the people via newspapers through press statements. (3). Ideal day for an opposition leader - Morning:Think about a new press statement. - Afternoon: Prepare it. - Evening: Release it. - Night: The most difficult time, wait for the next day’s newspapers. (4). There is nothing great in running an opposition party. Just give statements in press and Party will run on autopilot mode itself. (5). If on autopilot mode, victory is achieved in any by-election by an accident, demand C.M.’s resignation and if there is a defeat, allege ruling government for misusing police and local administration in election. Complain about this to election commission or even governor. Paper work again. (6). Always believe and tell that - Every decision taken by the government is wrong and harmful. -Every initiative has actualy great corruption inside. -Every function organised by the government is wastage of public money. -Every new project announced by the government is unfeasible-impractical. -Every calamity is badly handled and could be avoided. -Every successful project, every well admired plan was actually perceived by former government
-Protest government’s major decisions by addressing a press conference. -Protest government’s even bigger decisions doing both; Press release+press conference. How simple! (8). Organizing a public meeting in a large ground is risky business, people may not turn up. Title party gathering as a ‘Public meeting’. (9). Even Party gathering titled as a ‘public meeting’ should be organized at the place which is cramped, for an example, if in Ahmedabad, go for narrow J.P. chowk, but never choose football ground like a BJP because it’s a huge ground and more people would be needed to fill it. |





















January 1st, 2007 at 3:43 pm
Read Arjun Modhvadiya’s statements daily in morning newspaper BECAUSE………………………………………………………………………
Laughter is the best medicine.
January 2nd, 2007 at 1:57 am
Mahabharat: Arjun naa teer
Gujarat: Arjun naa hathodaa
January 2nd, 2007 at 2:29 am
Why Arjun may be proved highly unpopular among children if he become Santa close?
Because…………………………………………………………….
He will distribute press releases of his statements to the children instead of chocolates or gifts.
January 2nd, 2007 at 6:17 am
Time always fixed in Arjun’s watch: 9:20
( ‘Savaa nau ne paanch’ that is called ‘Lapp’)
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Another one
Question:When Arjun was a child which one was his favouite story ?
Answer:’Lapalapiyo Kachabo’
January 2nd, 2007 at 6:22 am
Surprise Surprise !! You know what is Modhvadiya’s hobby ?
I hope you will surely laugh when you read his first hobby in his profile. Go to this link….
http://www.gujaratassembly.gov.in/detailrec.asp?vsabhaid=11&headval=Leader%A0of%A0Oppostion&recno=032
January 2nd, 2007 at 4:06 pm
Dear Creative Gujarati, I enjoyed your ‘because’ style comments, here is one from me too:
Why Gujarati newspapers cover Modhvadiya’s statements widely ?
Because…………………………………………………
1. Comedy is widely read
2. Comedy about current affairs is even more widely read
3. Newspapers do not have to occupy and pay comedy writers as far as they have Modhvadiya’s statement in newspaper.
So, who is afraid of Modhvadiya ?
Modi ?
No No,
Comedy writers….
Just for fun
January 3rd, 2007 at 2:07 am
Little off topic but vote for Modi for CNN-IBN person of the year. He is leading with 31% of votes as of now.
http://www.cnnibnindianoftheyear.com/nominee_information.html#politics
January 3rd, 2007 at 3:16 am
One more official link about Modhvadiya’s profile:
http://www.gujaratassembly.gov.in/epporbandar.htm
Also one p.c. from me too….
Politics of Gujarat is simple: Modi rocks, Modhvadiya jokes…
January 5th, 2007 at 3:32 pm
Thats true. Day before yesterday Arjun in a newspaper’s statement said that congress will do aandolan(agitation) against modi’s decision of relaxing darubandhi in sez areas. But for last two days there is no agitation or andolan on ground. No where across Gujarat. Modhvadiya should stop giving stupid statements and announcements too.
Second thing. As this is a Gujarat election year, congress is gearing up in it’s way. Congress in Gujarat is mobilizing tribals from south to north on eastern tribal belt for Sonia gandhi’s public meeting this month in Limkheda near Dahod. BJP should take this mobilization seriously.
N G P E
January 5th, 2007 at 10:57 pm
The way Modhwadia publish his statement a day, looks like where is the opposition party?
In old days, Mr. CHimanbhai Patel, Sankarshinh Vaghela, Madhavshinh Solanki, Amarsinh Chaudhary days, rulling party need to think about opposition mood and counter action on issue or decision taken by goverment.
But nowadays, there is nothing like opposition party. Though Mr. Modi do good job, not necessarily always do perfect job. Hence role of opposition is here very crucial. They have to find out fault which is not visible or identified by common people.
Every morning, modhvadiya make statement about the things which is known by common people. Then where is your role.
January 10th, 2007 at 7:41 pm
Watch this press cuting. It is from 3rd January’s Gujarati local newspaper published from Ahmedabad and its heading says: Modhvadiya has announced that Congress will do ‘ Andolan’ (agitation) against softening liquor prohibition in SEZ areas by Modi government. Now today when I am writing this, it’s 10th of January and yet no where there is an agitation across the state by Congress. Nowhere even a token, single incident of agitation. This is the real picture of Congress in Gujarat. Why it fails in Gujarat. Congress leaders in Gujarat just talk big and do nothing. Congress leaders in Gujarat are ‘Statement machines,’ rightly you have said on DeshGujarat. This is the proof.
January 10th, 2007 at 7:48 pm
Good Health Therapy

Cheer: Read headings of Modhvadiya’s statement in newspaper
Laugh: Read details of Modhvadiya’s statement in newspaper
Always Laugh: Always read all the statements of Modhvadiya in newspaper
January 16th, 2007 at 5:05 pm
O.K.
I lastly posted here a pres cutting of Congress announcement that congress in Gujarat will do agitation (andolan) against state government to oppose changes in liquor prohibition policy for sez areas. In that case Congress announced and has not done even a token agitation till now.
Now this is another example of statementbaaji by Modhvadia and Congress in Gujarat. See here in Vadodara’s press conference Modhvadia says that Congress will do agitation against state government about law and order situation. This statement was given by modhvadia on 13th of January 2007 and was printed in Vadodara’s newspapers on 14th of Januaray. But yet there is no single token agitation or nothing like what Modhvadia announced in the state. Congress is good for nothing in Gujarat. It is a statement party indeed.
Watch this press cutting. It’s second proof I am representing here in just 15 days span.
January 17th, 2007 at 4:17 pm
Congress is organising tribal gathering in Gujarat in the presence of Sonia Gandhi. Click this link and read.
http://www.dailyindia.com/show/104321.php/Congress-leaders-make-beeline-to-tribal-Gujarat
January 19th, 2007 at 6:44 pm
I have a great thing to tell here. That is Arjun Modhwadia’s official website. Yes !! It is http://www.Arjunmodhwadia.com
Now the funny thing is that , there is a subject panel on the left side of the page and on only one subject there is a blinking sign and that is obviously a subject titled as’ press release’ haa haa haa and you know what ? You can read his whole bunch of press releases statements online and can have a fun online.
Another thing,
It is written there on this website’s discussion forum page that
This website is being launched to make people aware about our activities and role in the development of Gujarat State through the “Press Release Section” and also keep in touch with public in large through the “Discussion Forum”.
Need to say anything about this ? I think NO
Now another paragraph
I, Arjun Modhwadia, Leader of Opposition, Vidhansabha, Gujarat State. Representing Congress Party Believe & Declare that we will play a highly positive and constructive role towards the economical & social growth of the Gujarat State.
How constructive and positive role he is actually playing ? Read his statements and press release on the same website and decide yourself.
N G P E
January 26th, 2007 at 6:47 pm
Finaly Congress is doing something for Darubandhi issue. Shankarsimh vaghela is taking leadership of this. He is a man who can gather huge crowd from his strong belts of North Gujarat and Kapadvanj areas. On Ashram road he will march from Kochrab Ashram to Sabarmati Gandhi ashram and willl sit on a fast there for 52 hours. Let’s see hows things shape. I think this will be a Congress program and not peoples’ program. People do not like Narendrabhai’s decision to release prohibition in SEZ areas but people love Narendrabhai and Development that they have forgoten everything else. Shankarsimh can gather huge crowd of his supporters and will surely try to impress media and people. But how much this exercise impress common people of Gujarat ? That is the question. However Shankarsimh as a congress leader is far better and experienced than press release king Arjun modhwadia.
April 25th, 2007 at 7:21 pm
have you read this all new ips arrested stuff,why they make all bad issue for all this anccounter issue.see last 2 year now any incidents happend because of accounter.why congress put stone on gujarat progress.i do have one requested to all congress pls badha tamara patiya bandha karido have only bjp will be the one party.we dont need any other